5 Tips for Working with Resistance in Therapy

Resistance. It is one of those words that can send a ripple of self-doubt through even the most seasoned clinician. A patient skips sessions, dodges questions, or shifts topics every time you get close to something meaningful. It is tempting to push through, problem solve, or reframe. But what if resistance is not the enemy of therapy, but a doorway into something deeper?

Here are five ways to approach resistance in therapy with curiosity and clinical wisdom.

1. Assume resistance makes sense

Start with the belief that resistance is protective, not pathological. It is a signal that something feels too vulnerable, too fast, or too unknown. Instead of trying to get rid of it, try to understand what it is trying to protect. Ask yourself, "What would it mean if this patient let down this defense right now?"

2. Slow down the pace

When resistance shows up, it often means the pace of therapy is mismatched with the patient's capacity. This is an invitation to slow down. Reflect on the process itself. Wonder with your patient, “What feels hard to talk about right now?” This opens space for a meta-conversation about the therapy relationship without demanding change.

3. Track your own responses

Resistance does not just show up in the patient. It stirs something in us, too. Do you feel annoyed, confused, bored, defeated? Your countertransference can be a clue. Instead of reacting, reflect. These feelings may mirror how others have responded to the patient before. Staying curious about your own reactions can help you stay present rather than pushy.

4. Frame resistance as part of the work

Normalize it. Let your patient know resistance is expected and often a sign that therapy is getting closer to something important. You might say, “Sometimes when we’re near something meaningful, part of us wants to shut it down. That makes sense. We can take our time here.”

5. Remember the relationship is the intervention

When resistance surfaces, the way you respond becomes the therapy. Will you retreat, interpret, confront, or connect? When you can hold steady with empathy and respect, you offer a new relational experience. One that does not demand change but invites safety.

Final thought: Working with resistance can feel uncertain, even uncomfortable. But it is also where therapy begins to deepen.